The Grief Recovery Method®
An evidence-based program to show you how to discover and express unresolved grief.
Losses come in many forms—death, divorce, estrangement, job change, empty nest, and over 40 others.
Are you having difficulty accepting the reality of a loss, or do you find yourself hiding your true feelings from others?
The Grief Recovery Method allows you to retain all of your fond memories while freeing you from the pain these memories may now cause. As a result, you may rediscover your capacity for joy and be able to fully participate emotionally in your relationships again, or perhaps for the first time.
THE PROBLEM
You’re not failing at grief.
While grief is normal and natural, most of the information passed on within our society about dealing with loss is not normal, natural, or helpful.
Grief is the emotional response to loss, but most of the information we have learned about dealing with loss is intellectual or spiritual.
Myths about grief:
Time heals all wounds
Replace the loss
Grieve alone
Be strong
Don’t feel bad
Keep busy
Just looking at the myth that "time heals" creates the idea that a person only has to wait and will eventually feel better. The founders of the Grief Recovery Method have known people who waited ten, twenty, thirty, and forty years, and still didn’t feel better. And they would tell you that not only had time not healed them, but it had compounded the pain.
In The Grief Recovery Method I am not going to tell you, “I know how you feel,” because I don’t. Neither does anyone else. Every person is unique, and every relationship is unique.
Your feelings are normal and natural. The problem is that we have been socialized to believe that these feelings are abnormal and unnatural.
THE SOLUTION
Backward reflection, forward movement.
People say, "You have to let go and move on in your life," but they don’t tell you what you need to do to accomplish that. The Grief Recovery Method, developed and refined over the past 40 years, not only makes that possible, but provides partnerships and guidance to ensure that it happens.
Testimonials
What is a Grief Recovery Method Specialist?
Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialists help people move beyond death, divorce, and other losses by facilitating Grief Support Groups and One-on-One Programs utilizing The Grief Recovery Method.
They come from all walks of life and professional backgrounds, but have one thing in common: a desire to help people.
My husband died, suddenly and unexpectedly, on the Friday before Thanksgiving 2008.
Even though I had loving, supportive family and friends, I was lacking the tools I needed to resolve my grief, and I spent more than five years in emotional limbo, at one point winding up in a very dark and unhealthy place. I approached The Grief Recovery Method skeptically, but to my surprise it made a tremendous difference.
Having gone through the process, it now feels like a huge burden has been lifted from my body and my spirit.
All of my wonderful memories have been returned to me, stripped of the terrible pain that had stolen my happiness. I am grateful now for the opportunity to help others as they travel their own journeys of recovery.
“The Grief Recovery Handbook changed my life, and that’s when I found Ellen.”
I never felt like I belonged in hospice support programs. I was kind of ok, but I wasn’t. Even my therapist was asking “did you get angry?” and I had none of that.
I worked for years as an advocate after the death of my daughter, going into schools and talking to kids about overdose. Even doing all of that didn’t resolve my grief. I had no idea what to do. I attended every grief support group available —and they never helped. I had never learned how to grieve.
After working with Ellen, I felt like I could breathe. Like, I could just take a full entire breath and I could stand up straighter. I felt more confident because there was no shame in losing someone to an overdose. I dispelled the stigma many parents in my situation feel.
— Tricia Stouch, Mother, Advocate
What is unresolved grief?
Unresolved grief is almost always about things we wish we’d said or done differently, better, or more.
For example, “I wish I’d told Dad I loved him before it was too late.” Or, “I wish I’d visited my grandma before she died so I could tell her what she meant to me.” This program will show you how to discover and express those unsaid things, so that they no longer limit you or affect your capacity for happiness.
Unresolved grief is also about the unrealized hopes, dreams, and expectations we had for the relationship.
Even in the best of relationships, we are often left with plans that never got to happen. In negative relationships, the death or divorce robs us of the possibility of repair, thereby preventing the relationship from becoming positive.
Finally, unresolved grief is about emotional communications that either we never made, or we felt were never heard, or that need to be said again.
It is the goal of this program to help you discover and complete what was left emotionally incomplete for you by a death, a divorce, or any other loss. It will give you the ability to say goodbye to any pain, which may be limiting you from fond memories, and say goodbye to any unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations about the future.
Grief is not an intellectual experience.
The uniqueness of The Grief Recovery Method lies in the essential idea that grief is a normal and natural emotional reaction to loss. Unfortunately, the majority of guidance for grieving people tends to move them toward their intellects to deal with their pain. I believe that grievers don’t wind up at my door with broken heads, they arrive with broken hearts.
ABOUT THE GRIEF RECOVERY METHOD®
Get a toolbox to understand and manage the emotions of grief.
How does The Grief Recovery Method work?
The Grief Recovery Method Grief Support Groups are not like traditional groups, nor are they self-help groups—this is not a drop-in program. They are facilitated groups that use the time-tested Grief Recovery Method along with The Grief Recovery Handbook as the basic text, and a step-by-step format. It is an experiential, action-based program with homework assignments.
How can The Grief Recovery Method help?
My goal is to help you complete your relationship to the pain, isolation, and loneliness caused by significant emotional loss. While death and divorce may seem to be the most obvious losses, there are more than 40 life events that can produce feelings of grief, including death of a companion animal, loss of health, major financial changes, moving, and many others. Whether grief is caused by death or another loss, incomplete relationships can have a lifelong negative impact on your capacity for happiness.
Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever. I will explain those action choices to you, and guide you in taking them.
If your existing resources haven't helped with your grief, it’s not because of anything that’s wrong with you. It’s because of a lack of correct information. If you’re considering attending this program it’s because of what’s right with you, not what’s wrong.
What is the difference between The Grief Recovery Method and other support?
First of all, The Grief Recovery Method is the only grief support program that is evidence-based; that is, it has been clinically proven to be effective in helping grievers deal with the pain of emotional loss in any relationship.
Many support programs provide an environment for you to verbalize the thoughts and feelings you experience following a loss. While there is a benefit to that kind of expression, it is not enough. Simply talking about how you feel does not complete the unfinished emotional business that is attached to a loss. The Grief Recovery Method® is designed to guide you through a series of actions to not only verbalize your feelings, but to help you let go of the pain associated with those feelings.
The Grief Recovery Method allows you to retain all of your fond memories while freeing you from the pain these memories may now cause. As a result, you may rediscover your capacity for joy and be able to fully participate emotionally in your relationships again, or perhaps for the first time.
“After my parents died, everyone else moved on.”
It was hard to admit that I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t do what society says—‘handle it on your own’, or ‘get over it’.
After my kids left the house, I took over caretaking for my parents, and in 2019 they both passed away within 9 months of each other. I had denied how scary it was with my mother’s increasing dementia when she was alive, so I had to admit—to myself first—that I needed professional help with this and that yes, it’s worth it to do something for me.
The Grief Recovery Method® was a very valuable exercise to reframe how to look at grief. I hate the words ‘process it’, but it’s how to manage or understand the emotions around grief and an aid to acceptance of it.
Working with Ellen and this program has powered me on to move into my future. I’m more comfortable talking about grief with other people now, including my daughter, and it’s been a big release of the pressure I was under.
— Kathryn, 63, Mother, Doctor of Environmental Science
PROGRAM DETAILS
Release the pressure of your grief.
This powerful and dynamic experience is the most sensible, accessible, and authentic plan available for recovery from loss.
The Grief Support Groups and One-on-One Programs provide a safe environment for participants to take the actions of The Grief Recovery Method. Each member examines old beliefs about dealing with loss, identifies the losses that have affected their life, and learns to take new actions that lead to completion of the pain attached to those losses. As a result, participants find that they are able to discover and complete what was left emotionally unfinished due to a death, a divorce, or other major loss.
Relief, in one of two online formats:
One-on-one: 6 weeks
Small group programs: 8 weeks (limited to 4 people)
I work with clients online through Zoom. Please note that all participants must be at least 18 years old; be able to read, write, and speak English; and commit to attending each weekly session of the program. There will be homework each week, which will take approximately one to two hours to complete.
The standard fee for the one-on-one program (all six sessions) is $500.
The standard fee for the small group program (all eight sessions) is $395.
Partial scholarships or payment plans are sometimes available.
Frequently Asked Questions:
When is it time to start Grief Recovery?
Is it ever too soon to recover? No!
Effective Grief Recovery can begin immediately. We tend to create larger-than-life memory pictures in which we either enshrine or bedevil the person who died. This phenomenon increases with time, making it more difficult to discover the truth within our relationships. It is never too soon to address your grief. Likewise, it is never too late to address the pain of a previous loss.
What’s the Grief Recovery Institute?
Since the Grief Recovery Institute was founded in the mid 1980s, it has expanded its staff to provide training coast-to-coast, border-to-border in the United States and Canada. In addition, it has affiliates in Sweden, the United Kingdom, Australia, and Mexico.
